


Doubt

by ohmiyaskdesu



Series: One-Shots [1]
Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Arashi - Freeform, Fluff, Japanese, M/M, Romance, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-20
Updated: 2015-01-20
Packaged: 2018-03-08 08:04:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3201707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohmiyaskdesu/pseuds/ohmiyaskdesu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's almost the New Year and Jun knew he was going to spend it alone without Sho this time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Doubt

2014 had been such a busy year for Arashi, with the upcoming singles, dvd, and album releases, concerts, individual dramas, and a movie for all five of them. To sum it all, it has been really exhausting for all five members, yet they still stood strong, being the storm and all. By the end of the year, however, Jun became lonelier and listless, despite being with his members almost everyday.  
  
“It’s going to be okay,” Ohno told him reassuringly, although Jun hasn’t told him exactly what the problem was, and it gave him a tiny bit of encouragement towards patience… But the end of the year was excruciatingly an hour from now.  
  
Jun tapped his fingers on the phone as he looked up from his watch, the clock on his phone, and the clock on the wall. When was Sho going to arrive,when? When?! Jun exhaled loudly, making it echo around the lonely living room, as he threw himself on their white couch.  _Their_  white couch. How long has it been since they cuddled on this couch these past few years? It has been a long while. The last time Jun could remember was on that fateful day…  
  
 _January 1, 2010_  
  
It’s been a whole two good years of continued success for Arashi and there was nothing more than that that would make Arashi happier. However, it meant that with their rising popularity, the more their schedules became busier. There were piles of requests upon requests for Arashi to do this and that, such as providing a theme song for the 2010 Winter Olympics, which made them more ecstatic for this year…  
  
Jun, on the other hand, feared for the worst: being unable to see Sho more often, with his drama filming and whatever individual activities that’s in store for him this year… Jun sighed in disappointment. For three years -- _three years!_ \-- he’s been trying to get himself to confess to Sho. Despite being able to tell Sho, and the rest of the members, almost anything just like the very close friends they all were, Jun didn’t have the courage to do it. And for three years, especially when he finally came to a decision that he was indeed in love with Sho; in love with his dorkiness, his seriousness, his bad temper, his mothership… in love with everything about Sakurai Sho.  
  
He planned on confessing to him on this day, because it was now or never. Unfortunately, Sho was out filming while Jun, on the other hand, was completely free for the day. If this were any day, Jun would spent it with his family, or his friends, but Jun had planned for so long for this day to be  _the_  day, but how would he have known that Sho was going to be busy? He should have seen it coming, especially when Tokujo Kabachi was announced last year.  
  
Well, there always a tomorrow, right? But what if Sho didn’t feel the same way about him and his one-sided love, for how many years, would stay as is? This wasn’t the first time this thought invaded his mind without invitation: doubt. Jun hated it, even the word alone, but of course he couldn’t help it. It was inevitable and Jun had no control over it. There were times, though, when he felt like it was mutual, but it only lasted for a second before Jun turned red and would use some lame excuse to avoid Sho the whole day.  
  
But there were times, though, when Jun caught Sho glancing at his way from time to time. At first, he thought that his peripheral vision was playing a trick on him until he finally caught Sho in the act. It was any other day and they were waiting to be called up on set for HnA. Ohno was taking a short nap while Nino leaned on his shoulder as he played with his DS, Aiba was doing Aiba things in a corner, and Sho was reading the Newsweek magazine, while I was fixing the suit for today’s filming to my preference.  
  
“Damn, Jun, I think suit has suffered enough,” Nino snickered behind his DS. He was lucky that he was leaning on Ohno, if he wasn’t... Instead, Jun just shot his death glare towards Nino, but it was no use because Nino’s eyes were glued to the screen.  
  
Ignoring Nino’s side comments, which he probably thought Jun couldn’t hear from where he was, he resumed fixing his suit. It was a really good pick and he was glad that the staff finally understood his preference in suits (he suggested it for all five of us), but they were missing something: the jewelry. It was a good thing he brought a few of my collections back from home, and he knew the exact ring that would fit with this suit. Just when he was about to go and retrieve his bag, where my precious treasure was, however, he froze when he caught sight of a particular someone staring at him. That particular someone obviously couldn’t see Jun staring back at him in shock because he saw it in the mirror, but Sho must have realized he froze, moved his eyes so their eyes met on the mirror, before that Sho looked away with a loud cough. Sho must have thought Jun didn’t notice his cheeks turning red, but he did. He found himself grinning like a weirdo creep (courtesy to Nino who saw his smile) and forgot to wear that ring that looked so perfect with the suit. But he was definitely fine with it.  
  
See, there were times when Jun caught Sho in the act but he still doubted it no matter what… but Jun had to confess -- no, needed, to confess even if the outcome will probably hurt him. And without realizing it, he had sent a text to Sho as he reminisced those years of one-sided love towards the older man. Jun sat right up and stared blankly at his cellphone screen. The text he had sent read: “I really, really like you” Something Aiba would say in a very Aiba way. How the hell was he even texting when his mind was somewhere off into the past? Were his thumbs trying to get him hurt today? Jun sighed and took the battery from his phone. He couldn’t bear with seeing what Sho’s reply would be (if he even replies because sometimes it took a few days for Sho to reply back), even when he’s been trying so hard for three years. He just couldn’t… face rejection.

  
\\\\\♥///

  
Jun woke up with a start. He didn’t even know that he fell asleep on his couch, but it wasn’t a surprise because he was extremely exhausted. Yawning, Jun got up, stretched and walked over to his kitchen. He decided to make black coffee to keep himself awake in order to think of new ideas for future concerts, but he stopped short when his house phone rang and announced the caller id. Jun’s eyes widened, both in fear and shock, as he took tiny steps away from his phone. So he let it ring until finally, the electronic voice told Sho to leave a message.  
  
“Call me, Jun. Damnit,” came Sho’s irritated, yet tired, voice. “I want to know if you’re safe.”  
  
 _Safe? What did he mean-- Oh_  
  
He ran back to the couch after he heard a click, indicating that Sho had hung up, to search for his phone. He found both of them stuck between the cushions. Once the battery was in place and the phone turned on, he searched for missed calls and unread messages… They were all from Sho. A few from Ohno, Nino, and Aiba, and my manager all asking me where the hell he was and what the hell happened to him. But they were mostly from Sho, and he was the first one to notice that Jun wasn’t replying, so he must have notified the others.  
  
“I need to talk to you,” Jun read out loud in all seriousness as if he were Sho. It was a reply prior from Sho to the text Jun had sent him, and Jun regretted putting the battery back on. He should have just left it untouched in between the couch cushions. Sho probably thought that Jun was being a fanboy all over again, and that by “talk” Sho would probably lecture him about it for an hour. Jun didn’t reply back, however, and notified everyone but Sho that he was alive and was taking a nap on his couch. He felt guilty, though, because he knew that Sho was a worry tart.  
  
“Jun!”  
  
Said man looked up from his phone when he heard his name addressed by a familiar voice. He was definitely tired up to the point where he could even hear Sho’s voice now.  
  
“Jun!”  
  
Yep, he was tired. He yawned as he stood up, deciding on sleeping today instead of wasting his time brooding on his relationship with Sho just because of that one text. Maybe he was dreaming? Yeah, this must all be a dream and he’ll probably wake up anytime--  
  
“Jun! I know you’re in there!”  
  
There was loud banging coming from his front door and a few dings from the doorbell afterwards. Yeah… he was tired that he’s even imagining that Sho’s at the front door. As he walked towards his room, however, it finally became silent. The sound of Sho’s voice wasn’t in his head, and neither were the banging and the ringing of the doorbell. Peace and quiet, just like Jun liked it. Grinning tiredly, he dragged his feet across the floor, but stopped when he heard the sound of jingling coming from his front door. After a few seconds, he heard soft mumbles before his front door swung open. Strange, he didn’t remember leaving it open.  
  
Groaning in growing irritation, Jun turned back around and dragged his feet back to the front door. “Who is it?” He clicked his tongue in annoyance. “It better not be you, Nino. I’m seriously going to kill you.”  
  
“Jun…”  
  
I looked up, but it was so blurry because I didn’t have my glasses or contacts on. I could tell that it wasn’t Nino because Nino had a skinnier build while whoever the intruder was broader. Who is-- All of a sudden, this intruder ran towards me and I still saw blur as this person took me in their arms, taking the breath out of me. Must be Aiba because he sometimes gave those bear hugs where I feared for my life. But why did Aiba seem… shorter?  
  
“Hey, um… Aiba, I already told you I’m fine,” Jun poked the man’s arm. “You didn’t have to come here.”  
  
“It’s Sho, and I had to come here.”  
  
Oh, his tiredness was definitely getting the better of him. He massaged the bridge on his nose and sighed. “If this is a joke, Aiba, I’m having none of it. I’m tired.”  
  
“It’s really me, Jun. Aiba’s with his family.”  
  
“Aiba--”  
  
Who he really thought was Aiba pulled away so there were a few inches of space between them. It took him a while to get his eyes adjusted because he was tired and having a bad eyesight was a horrible combination, but he finally saw his face. It was definitely Sho and Jun, for the life of him, couldn’t bring himself to speak and just stood there gaping at him as id he had just met Sho for the first time.  
  
“I was worried to death,” Sho told him. “You don’t just send that text and then not reply back! I thought something bad happened, and that those words were probably your last… I was thinking, on the way here--” He just noticed that Sho was soaking wet. “--that my assumption was impossible because I knew you were going to stay home all day--” How did he know? “--and that you’re the great MatsuJun!” He probably got that from Aiba. “A-and I wanted to tell you--" Sho? The always serious Sho was suddenly nervous?! "--That I--"  _Oh, god, he's going to tell me that I'm being a creepy, and to stay a few get meters away from him._  “--Oh, how do I say it…”  
  
“You want me to back off, right?” Jun asked as he pulled himself away from Sho’s grip. “Then I’ll do it. Don’t worry about it.”  
  
“No, Jun--”  
  
“I’ll see you tomorrow, Sho-san.”  
  
“Jun--”  
  
“Good luck with filming.” I waved him off towards to the door to seem like I wasn’t affected by it at all, but I could feel my eyes stinging. _Damn, why am I crying when I already knew the answer_.  
  
“J--”  
  
“Bye, Sh--”  
  
“Jun!” Sho yelled my name in a way that made me stop on my tracks. It was his demanding voice and I could tell he was losing his patience. “You’re not listening to me.”  
  
“...”  
  
“What I wanted to say is… Me, too. I-I mean I like you too, for a while now…”  
  
Ah, he really was tired and he was just hearing and seeing things. Maybe his desperation has gotten the better of him and so was being an idol. Or perhaps, Nino snuck in somehow and snuck in some hallucination fumes, something like that. Yeah, that must be it. Yawning, Jun stretched and decided to walk back to his room when all of a sudden, he felt strong firm hands on his right arm and he was whirled around in a fast blur.  
  
“If this is a prank, I’m really not--” Jun’s eyes widened when Sho’s face came into a clearer view. He realized then, that there was absolutely no space in between them. He could feel wet clothes against his pajamas and then soft, plump lips on his own. This can’t be real. No, this is probably not real. But when Jun pinched himself five times and winced five times, Jun’s eyes widened even more until he felt like his eyes were going to pop out. Okay, this was real. It was definitely real. So this meant that… Jun blinked as he stared at Sho, whose eyes were closed and still had his unmoving lips on Jun’s. Sho was real, too, and it wasn’t some induced illusion. Oh. My. GOD. Jun sighed as his eyes rolled to the back of his head. His knees suddenly became weak, his whole body was trembling and he felt like falling on the floor. Except when he did slip away, he felt Sho’s strong arm save him from falling on the floor and he was pulled back up.  
  
“Let’s move in together. Today.” It was the last thing I heard from Sho before I passed out… and woke up a few hours later on a white couch that I’ve never seen before, and I saw a worried Sho holding my hand tightly while he was fast asleep on the floor. He must have fallen.  
  
“Idiot,” I muttered under my breathe and I found myself grinning widely. “Why didn’t he bring me to my bed?”  
  
 _Present_  
  
Half an hour from now, it was going to be their fifth anniversary. But Sho wasn’t around and no one, not even Sho’s manager, knew where the hell he was. Of course, he should have expected this in their relationship, especially since Arashi’s popularity has risen even more and they were much busier than four years ago. Maybe, Sho was so busy that he forgot? But how could he? Every year and when they had the chance to do so, Sho would set something up at home and Jun would come home to find surprises Sho left for him. Except this year, he was the one who prepared their fifth anniversary, and it would all probably just go to waste. Besides, he wasn’t expecting Sho to come anyway because Sho was in the middle of filming. It was just like four years ago, except today was New Year’s Eve. Sighing, he got up and walked over to the dining room. The pasta he made for the both of them were already cold and the wax on the candlelight was already melting. Taking one, last, lonely look at his effort, Jun blew on the candle lights and everything became dark.

  
\\\\\♥///

  
Jun tried going to sleep, but he couldn’t. Instead, he kept staring at the clock and saw that it was two minutes before 2015. Even if Sho forgot, or was way too busy, Jun loved him more than anything by the end of the day. But Jun couldn’t help but feel lonely by the end of the day. Sho was always up and gone before him, and he would come back home by the time Jun had passed out from waiting for him. The only time they saw each other was when they did Arashi activities, but that was all. Jun really, really,  _really_  missed him.  
  
“Sho,” he mumbled and grabbed Sho’s pillow. “I miss you,” he mumbled and snuggled with the pillow as if it were Sho.  
  
“I miss you too.”  
  
Jun whipped his head to the general direction of the door leading outside and saw a silhouette of a man leaning against the door frame. Damn, his bad eyesight. Was this some prank by Nino or Aiba?  
  
“Uh…”  
  
“Jun.”  
  
“Sho, is that you?”  
  
“Who else would it be?”  
  
Jun shivered at the deep, dark voice and he could imagine that this person was smirking. But he was unable to give more thought about it when he felt the bed creak and someone was crawling on top of him.  
  
“Happy anniversary,” the intruder said before planting a kiss on Jun’s lips.  
  
It was definitely Sho because he could remember his sweet, plump lips. They tasted of vanilla and peppermint. Jun smirked. He bought that for him earlier today because Sho kept complaining that his lips were becoming dry and chapped like Aiba’s.  
  
“I see you spoiled yourself with the gift I got you,” Jun whispered when they broke apart. “Do you like the taste?”  
  
“Oh, I like it better on you.”  
  
Jun moaned when he felt Sho’s lips sucking hungrily on his neck. He was for sure going to have a mark on his neck, but he didn’t care. It was beautiful mark and he loved every little marks Sho left on his body.  
  
“Your pasta smelled amazing, but I wanted you more. There’s nothing better than having Jun a la mode for dinner.”  
  
“ _Oh_ ,” Jun gasped as Sho’s tongue slid across his bare chest. He didn’t even notice when his shirt was pulled off.  
  
“I. Love. You. Very. Much.” Sho huffed in between every kisses he left on Jun’s body.  
  
“I love you, too…” Jun moaned as he threw his head back in pleasure. He could feel every inch of his body being taken by Sho and every sweet and teasing kiss made it unbearable for him to last any longer. He quickly pulled his boxers off when Sho’s hand began teasing his cock with soft touches. A loud gasp came from his mouth when he felt Sho’s ho mouth close around his hard length. It only took a few teasing sucks before Jun moaned out loud and released into his boyfriend’s mouth.  
  
“I’m sorry,” Jun panted. “I’m always so weak when it comes to you.”  
  
“It’s okay,” Sho smirked. “I  _love_  that about you.”  
  
Jun shuddered as goosebumps covered his skin. Sho always had a way with his words, especially when he had such a deep, deep, and sensual voice. Where did he learn how to do that?  
  
“Un… Sho…” Jun moaned and shivered when Sho ghosted his finger over his hole. “Please.”  
  
“If you think I forgot, I haven’t.”  
  
“What?”  
  
“I would never forget the day you sent me that text.”  
  
 _Oh_. Jun blushed. Now that Sho reminded him of it, the text sounded like he was a middle schooler whereas Sho’s reply sounded like he was his age. “I was typing it unconsciously,” Jun admitted. “I was supposed to do it properly, you know.”  
  
“Oh,” Sho sat up and Jun pouted when he could no longer feel his boyfriend’s teasing fingers. “Then you can do it right now.”  
  
“Eh?!”  
  
“I want to hear it, this proper confession of yours.”  
  
“No!” Jun thre his pillow, which Sho simply caught it midair. “I-It’s embarrassing.”  _Much more embarrassing than that text_.  
  
“Aww, I want to hear it. Or else… I’m not going to fuck you.”  
  
Sho always knew how to get his way. “Damn. All right. You better not laugh!”  
  
“I promise.”  
  
Those three years that he was planning on confessing to Sho, he seriously planned it out the Sho way. His plan was to call him on his day off, it didn’t matter when, and take him out to dinner. And if that didn’t work out, or Jun was too much of a wuss to go on with it, he was going to watch a movie with him instead. And if that didn’t work out, then Jun would take him to the gym and workout and tell him. And if that didn’t work out, then he’d give him an anonymous letter and reveal his identity later on. And if that--  
  
“Okay, okay,” Sho laughed and shut Jun’s mouth by pressing his lips against his. “I get it. You really planned it out well.”  
  
“You promised you wouldn’t laugh,” Jun pretended to be angry, but he couldn’t because he knew all too well that his plans sounded silly.  
  
“But I promised you something else.”  
  
Jun blushed. He knew that Sho would never back out on his word. Well, the last part didn’t count. Sho didn’t warn him, though. When he felt Sho enter him after putting on condom and lube, he winced in pain. But the pain was soon replaced with pleasure as Sho hit that sweet spot. He curled his legs around Sho’s waist and Sho moved faster and faster with each pace. Oh, god he felt so amazing.  
  
“I missed this,” Sho grunted as he thrusted in deeper and deeper. “Baby, I love you so much.”  
  
“I… love… too…  _ah_...” Jun mumbled incoherently because words were of no use at this point. All that came out of his mouth were soft and loud moans, depending on how hard Sho took him. Each and every time Sho hit that sweet spot, Jun saw nothing but stars and fireworks and hearts dancing around Sho. Jun realized then, that he was going to be with Sho forever. That they would be forever and there won’t be a day where they’ll never forget each other, or important dates, for that matter.  
  
“I love you,” Sho moaned before he finally released and fell on top of Jun. “Jun… will you marry me?”  
  
He felt his heart skip a beat. He thought that he was going to die out of happiness when Sho pulled something out his jacket pocket and gave him a small red colored box.  
  
“Is this the reason why you came home late?” Jun whispered as he reached out for the box with trembling hands.  
  
“Yeah,” Sho admitted with a light chuckle. “It’s not really an engagement ring, but--”  
  
“I love it,” Jun cut him off as he stared at the ring. It was a simple silver band, but inscribed in the ring were their initials, followed by the word ‘forever’ after it. “It’s beautiful.”  
  
“Just like you,” Sho mumbled and took the ring from the cushion. “Can I put it on for you?”  
  
He held out his hand right away, eager to have the ring on. It was much better than all the other rings he bought and nothing would beat it.  
  
“I love you,” Sho whispered as he put it on and lightly planted a kiss on Jun’s cheek.  
  
“I love you, too.”


End file.
